Thursday, April 9, 2020

Day Nineteen --- Thursday, April 9

Day nineteen (twenty-seven)...

Today was a day of extremes.

Low --- having a full-fledged panic attack this morning after having to go into Kroger...

High ---  joy and excitement seeing RF finish a task that he had been working on for five days in order to earn some money for a new toy he wanted...

I'll start at the beginning of our day and walk you through it...

Woke up to a fresh pot of coffee courtesy of Mr. Hawk and fixed myself a bowl of cereal + some breakfast for the kids. I did a few chores around the house before getting the notification that my WalMart grocery order was ready. Since there were quite a few items that they didn't have that I really needed I made the decision to go into Kroger.

 Got my mask, my hand sanitizer, my list, my car key and my debit card...let's do this...I think...

 Sheesh...I don't want to go in...I have no idea why this situation has me so overwhelmed and anxious. I've been ok at home, but I haven't stepped out of my car into public since March 13 so maybe just the idea of going out into the space where all of the chaos is right now is what made it so bad for me. 

I shopped as fast as I could, avoided people like crazy, and got out of there within 20 minutes. Once back in the car I sanitized my hands, my keys, and my debit card. I still had to go pick up our Walmart order though, so the fun wasn't over yet. 

 Waiting for WM to bring out my order I realized that RA changed my car language to French...from Spanish last week...aggravating goober. 

On the drive home from Walmart, I started shaking and having a panic attack. I got home and unloaded the groceries quickly and jumped in a hot shower. I grabbed a quick lunch of apples and peanut butter and laid down for a little while. As I was laying there I realized that this seems to be evidence of how much I took the simple act of grocery shopping without fear/anxiety for granted. When I'm in the middle of a panic attack I try and make my mind focus on gratitude. I closed my eyes and thought about all of the things in my life for which I am thankful. Between that practice, some deep breaths, and a little food I was able to wind down the panic attack, but took the rest of the day really easy. 

 I ordered Ellis and I a new puzzle from a store in Athens...can't wait to put this one together with my littlest buddy...

We decided to spend some time outside enjoying the breeze and the sun (both of which really helped continue calming me down from the stress of the morning). 

 Looks like we have another loose tooth in the Hawk house! 

 Ellis and I decided to hang in the hammock and watch the clouds drift by...

 My hammock buddy...

 The sun was in his eyes, so he stole my sunglasses...

 Hanging in the sunshine with my little boy...

 Cool dudes!

 Cincinnati Zoo's Home Safari today was about wallabies!

 The mail arrived and a number of things I have ordered recently arrived as well as a goody bag from Meme! 
 We had to immediately put up the Happy Easter banner that Meme sent...

RF came bursting into the living room excited as all get out because he accomplished a major goal. He has been wanting a new aircraft carrier toy. RA had some mulch that needed to me moved and put out in the flower beds and garden, so he agreed to pay RF .50/load (his red wagon) of mulch that he put out. For five days he has worked really hard and this afternoon he finished putting out over sixty loads to earn the toy. He and RA sat down and ordered it together. He was so excited that he accomplished a goal and earned the toy. I'm proud of you, RF --- great work!

Southwest egg rolls for dinner...quick and easy. 

We ate dinner together as a family, watched Onward and enjoyed some cake for dessert. 

Yellow cake and chocolate icing makes it all better, right?